Clinicals, Again

Clinical #2 at R.M. was awesome. So good, I think I'm going to apply. Way more fun than the last one-- we ran about 8 calls, including one awesome AMS (diabetic pt + insulin - food = psychotic episodes at Walmart & a blood sugar of less than 20), a good 2 car rollover MVA (no trauma though), several biblically filthy apartments in Aurora, a decent OD (which the FD medic kept trying to coach to pt into saying that it was from pot laced with something... lol), and several pretty dull transports (wow, nursing homes and dialysis centers blow). 

Funniest story of the night, though: The drug OD? This is the conversation we had with his sister in the ambulance during transport: 

Paramedic: So, what happened tonight?

Sister: My brother came home, and his eyes looked all funny, and then his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell over. My Mom & my brother then jumped on him & gave him CPR!

Paramedic: They gave him CPR?

Sister: Yeah, thank god. And after about 10 seconds of that, he woke right back up & puked everywhere!

Paramedic: Did he have a seizure? Did he stop breathing? 

Sister: No, he didn't. He just wouldn't wake up! 

Paramedic: (after looking at patient's totally clean chest- no bruises, no broken ribs, nothing) Well, good thing for him then that they didn't do it right! 

Sister: What?

Paramedic: Since he didn't need CPR, its good that they didn't do it right. It could have hurt him.

Sister: No, they did it right. My Mom & my other brother are both CNAs (certified nursing assistants... aka people who really should know how to do CPR correctly). 

Paramedic: Oh.... (long pause) sorry. So are you going to be a CNA, too? 

Sister: No, I want to be a cardiologist. 

Please god, please don't let this girl grow up to be a doctor, much less a cardiologist. And please, please sweet lord don't ever let her CNA certified family EVER work on me. Both of them do this as a career.... and they looked at an unconscious, unresponsive (but still very ALIVE) person and started CPR. Despite his adequate breathing and circulation. 

Damn, I guess than would snap me out of it too, though. Too bad we had to smell his vomit the whole way to the hospital. The scariest part through? His mom & his brother probably walked away from this thinking that they saved his life with their CPR. 

I'm 3 1/2 weeks away from being the 'hero' in the funny pants who comes when your ass calls 911. Better watch out world. And while your at it, watch out for those CNAs too.