Shit My Dad Says

(Photo via the disgustingly talented Splifr's Flickr_

I think God has a dry sense of humor.

[Dad rushes in front door and slams it behind him]
Moi (loudly): "Hey Dad. Whats going on?"
[Dad walks right by me, through kitchen, out garage door]

[Dad comes back from garage, slams door, lies down on couch and turns the TV on]
Moi: "Where did Mom go?"
Dad: [stares at TV remote intently...]
[Car audibly pulls into garage]
Moi: "Mom's home."
Dad:

30 seconds later...

[turns to give me a significant look] "Sounds like Mom is home"



Its like Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas in my living room.



[Earlier, while taking me to class, driving erratically]
Moi: "Uh, are you... okay? You're kind of swerving all over the place, Dad."
Dad: "Yeah, I'm just tired. There's a lot of debris on the road and its pushing the truck all over the place."

[note: its snowing, and the street is wet but debris free]

Moi: "What?"
Dad:

60 seconds later...

[Grins] "Its all this water. Theres so much water and debris, its pushing the truck all over the road. I can't control it."
Moi: "...allllllright then..."